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Showing posts with label Judge Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Judge Jokes. Show all posts

Hammer

A man is in court for murder and the judge says 'You are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.'

Then a voice at the back of the court says, 'you bastard.'

Then the judge continues, 'you are also charged With beating Your daughter to death with a hammer.'

Again the voice at the back of the court says, 'you bastard.'

The judge says, 'now we cannot have any more of these outbursts from you or I shall charge You With contempt, now what is the problem?'

Then the man at the back of the court says, 'fifteen years I lived next door to that bastard and everytime I asked to borrow a hammer he said he never had one!'

Gold Watch

A judge was instructing the jury that because a witness changed his statement after giving it to the police, he should not necessarily be regarded as untruthful.

"For example," the judge said, "when I entered my chambers today, I was certain that I had my gold watch in my pocket, then I remembered that I had left it on my nightstand in my bedroom."

When the judge arrived home that evening, his wife asked, "Why so much urgency for your watch? Don't you think sending three men to pick it up for you was a bit extreme?"

"What?" exclaimed the judge. "I didn't send anyone for my watch, let alone three people. What did you do?"

"I gave it to the first one," replied his wife, "after all, he knew exactly where it was."

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