Sardar Jokes : Funny Jokes Collection
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Yamraj asks 3 ladies -
Kabhi kiss kiya?
1st lady : Shadi se pehle.
Yamraj : Chal Nark me.
2nd Lady : Shaadi ke baad.
Yamraj : Chal Swarg me.
3rd Lady : Na pehle na baad me.
Yamraj : Chal kamre me!!!
—————————
Doctor : Aab tabiyat kaisi hai?
Santa : Pehle se jyada kharab hai.
Doctor : Dawai khali thi?
Santa : Nahi dawai ki sishi to bhari hui thi.
Doctor : I mean dawai le li thi?
Santa : Ji aapne di to meine le li thi.
Doctor : Bewkoof dawai pee li thi?
Santa : Nahi dawai to laal thi.
Doctor : Abe gadhe dawai ko pee liya tha?
Santa : Nahi sir peelia to mujhe tha!!!
—————————
Sardar’s Son – Papa jaldi-2 mera viya kra deo nahi ta main DAADI nal viya kra lavanga.
Sardar:oye tu meri MAA nal viya krayenga.!
Son:-kyo tusi meri MAA nal ni krayea..
—————————
—————————
Santa : Meri biwi mujhe chorr ke chali gayi.
Banta : Tu uska khyal nahi rakhta hoga.
Santa : Arre yaar…Sagi behen ki tarah rakhta tha usko!
—————————
Santa : Preeto chal honeymoon te chaliye.
Preeto : Mein velli nahi, main halle kapde v dhone e, te pande vi manjne e, tusi beeji nu le jao.
—————————
English Teacher: “One cute and young girl is walking on the road.” Change this into an punjabi exclamatory sentence.
Sardar student:- “Oye,pataka !”
—————————
SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.
1.Strength: My wife, Jeeto.
2.Weakness: Banta’s wife, Preeto.
3.Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour.
4.Threat: When I am on tour!!!
—————————
Santa : Yaar aaj mein bus ke peeche peecha daudkar three rupees bacha liye.
Banta : Kya yaar, tum to bahut murkh ho, agar taxi ke peeche bhagte to 100 rupees bachta!
—————————
Air hostess: Aap 1 hours me 4 baar toilet gaye! R U OK? Kya aap ko chein nahi hai?
Santa: ‘Chain’ hai par khulti nahi hai!!!
—————————
Wife: Please bike itni taze na chalao mujhey bahut dar lag raha hai.
Sardar: Agar tumhe bhi daar lag raha hai to meri tarah ankhein band karlo!!!
—————————
Sardar to doctor: Jab mein sota hu to mere sapne me monkeys football khelte hai.
Dr: Koi baat nahi ye medicine sone se pehle kha lena.
Sardar: Kal se khaonga, aaj to final hai!!!
—————————
A sardar had a baby after 3 months of marriage. He suspected
and asked to his wife, “Ye 3 month me hi baccha kaise hua?”
Wife Replied : Tumhari shaadi ko kitne din hue?
Sardar : Three months
Wife : Aur meri shaadi ko?
Sardar : 3 months.
Wife : Aur bacha kitne month ke baad?
Sardar : 3 months.
Wife : Total kitne months hue?
Sardar : Oye 9 months & start dancing Balle Balle!!!!
—————————
Ek sarder ne air-hostess se kaha, “Aapki shakal meri biwi
se bahut milti hai”.
Air-hostess ne ye sunte hi zordaar thappad uske muh pe mara…
Sardar foran bola : “Aadat bhi bahut milti hai”
—————————
Ek din Santa jungle se gujar raha tha
Chudail ne use roka aur kaha : Ho ho ho Ha ha ha…Mein Chudail hu.
Sardar : Menu pata hai…kyunki teri ek behen meri biwi hai!
—————————
Ek chor Sardar jee k mobile ko lekar bhag raha tha.
Sardar hasne laga
Banta : Wo tumhare mobile ko lekar bhag raha hai aur tum hans rahe ho.
Sardar : Bhagne do, charger to mere paas hai!
—————————
Sardar ke radio me kuch problem ho gayi to aur kharab ho gaya
Usne radio khol kar dekha to ek mara hua chuha mila
Ye dekh kar sardar gussa ho gaya aur bola : Ye chalega kaise?
Sala singer hi mara pada hai
—————————
what is the extreme limit of stupidity? Two Sardars sitting on a Rikshaw….,
and….,
fighting for a corner seat.
—————————
A Sardar looking at sky asks another Sardar :Is that a sun or moon? Other Sardar replies :Oye ! No idea…Im new to this city..
—————————
Ladkiyon ke college me strike thi,
Ladke bhi unke saath the
Ladkiyon ne naara lagaya:
“HUMARI MAANGE”
Pichhe se awaaz aayi:
“SINDUR SE BHARO”
—————————
Teacher : Santa and Banta!why you reached school late today?
Santa : Madam, I lost a one rupee coin and I was searching for it.
Teacher : Banta, what about you?
Banta : Madam. .., I was not able to move ….because I was hiding that coin under my feet.
—————————
Teacher : Santa! Make a sentence using “Neither-Nor”.
Santa : When girls wear tight fitting dresses, “NEiTHER” are they
comfortable, “NOR” are we!
—————————
Teacher : Santa ye batao tense kitne tarah ke hote hai?
Santa : Teen maidam.
Teacher : Teeno ke ek-ek example batao.
Santa : Madam, meine kal aapki beti ko dekha tha. Aaj mein ussey pyar karta hu aur kal mein ussey bhaga kar le jaunga.
—————————
Santa ek black aur ek white shocks pehenkar school aata hai.
Madam : Ghar jao aur moje badalkar aao.
Santa : Koi fayda nahi, waha bhi ek black aur ek white moja hi rakha hai.
—————————
Ek baar Santa ka Gadha lapata ho jata hai
Wo mandir me jakar bhagwan ki murti k samne der tak prarthana karta hai.
Yeh dekhkar Banta ussey puchta hai, “Santa kya tum bhagwan se ye prarthana kar rahe ho
ki tu—————————
mhara gadha tumhe mil jaye?.”
Santa : nahi yaar, mein to bhagwan ka sukriya ada kar raha tha ki unke
kripa se mein gadhe par sawar nahi tha, nahi to mein bhi lapata ho jata!
—————————
what is the cube of 13?
Its : SUROOR
wandaring how?
thats bcoz….
TERA * TERA * TERA = SUROOR
—————————
who was the 1st Indian woman fly abroad?
……….sita with ravan
—————————
wht did the kangaroo say when she found her baby missing?
Ans: Aaila!!!!! kisne mera pocket maar liya
—————————
wht do u call a really colourful tamilian???
Ans: Rangamannar rangrajan
—————————
An elephant falls in luv wid n ent.but Ant’s parents r against their marrige…guess y??
they gave a solid reason…**Ladke k dat bahar hai**
—————————
ones sardarji saw a very soni kudi in the market & thought..
Ans : kash k ye meri maa hondi to main v inna sona honda..
—————————
Full form of MATHS????
Ans : Mentally Affected Teacher Harassing Students…
Kabhi kiss kiya?
1st lady : Shadi se pehle.
Yamraj : Chal Nark me.
2nd Lady : Shaadi ke baad.
Yamraj : Chal Swarg me.
3rd Lady : Na pehle na baad me.
Yamraj : Chal kamre me!!!
—————————
Doctor : Aab tabiyat kaisi hai?
Santa : Pehle se jyada kharab hai.
Doctor : Dawai khali thi?
Santa : Nahi dawai ki sishi to bhari hui thi.
Doctor : I mean dawai le li thi?
Santa : Ji aapne di to meine le li thi.
Doctor : Bewkoof dawai pee li thi?
Santa : Nahi dawai to laal thi.
Doctor : Abe gadhe dawai ko pee liya tha?
Santa : Nahi sir peelia to mujhe tha!!!
—————————
Sardar’s Son – Papa jaldi-2 mera viya kra deo nahi ta main DAADI nal viya kra lavanga.
Sardar:oye tu meri MAA nal viya krayenga.!
Son:-kyo tusi meri MAA nal ni krayea..
—————————
—————————
Santa : Meri biwi mujhe chorr ke chali gayi.
Banta : Tu uska khyal nahi rakhta hoga.
Santa : Arre yaar…Sagi behen ki tarah rakhta tha usko!
—————————
Santa : Preeto chal honeymoon te chaliye.
Preeto : Mein velli nahi, main halle kapde v dhone e, te pande vi manjne e, tusi beeji nu le jao.
—————————
English Teacher: “One cute and young girl is walking on the road.” Change this into an punjabi exclamatory sentence.
Sardar student:- “Oye,pataka !”
—————————
SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.
1.Strength: My wife, Jeeto.
2.Weakness: Banta’s wife, Preeto.
3.Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour.
4.Threat: When I am on tour!!!
—————————
Santa : Yaar aaj mein bus ke peeche peecha daudkar three rupees bacha liye.
Banta : Kya yaar, tum to bahut murkh ho, agar taxi ke peeche bhagte to 100 rupees bachta!
—————————
Air hostess: Aap 1 hours me 4 baar toilet gaye! R U OK? Kya aap ko chein nahi hai?
Santa: ‘Chain’ hai par khulti nahi hai!!!
—————————
Wife: Please bike itni taze na chalao mujhey bahut dar lag raha hai.
Sardar: Agar tumhe bhi daar lag raha hai to meri tarah ankhein band karlo!!!
—————————
Sardar to doctor: Jab mein sota hu to mere sapne me monkeys football khelte hai.
Dr: Koi baat nahi ye medicine sone se pehle kha lena.
Sardar: Kal se khaonga, aaj to final hai!!!
—————————
A sardar had a baby after 3 months of marriage. He suspected
and asked to his wife, “Ye 3 month me hi baccha kaise hua?”
Wife Replied : Tumhari shaadi ko kitne din hue?
Sardar : Three months
Wife : Aur meri shaadi ko?
Sardar : 3 months.
Wife : Aur bacha kitne month ke baad?
Sardar : 3 months.
Wife : Total kitne months hue?
Sardar : Oye 9 months & start dancing Balle Balle!!!!
—————————
Ek sarder ne air-hostess se kaha, “Aapki shakal meri biwi
se bahut milti hai”.
Air-hostess ne ye sunte hi zordaar thappad uske muh pe mara…
Sardar foran bola : “Aadat bhi bahut milti hai”
—————————
Ek din Santa jungle se gujar raha tha
Chudail ne use roka aur kaha : Ho ho ho Ha ha ha…Mein Chudail hu.
Sardar : Menu pata hai…kyunki teri ek behen meri biwi hai!
—————————
Ek chor Sardar jee k mobile ko lekar bhag raha tha.
Sardar hasne laga
Banta : Wo tumhare mobile ko lekar bhag raha hai aur tum hans rahe ho.
Sardar : Bhagne do, charger to mere paas hai!
—————————
Sardar ke radio me kuch problem ho gayi to aur kharab ho gaya
Usne radio khol kar dekha to ek mara hua chuha mila
Ye dekh kar sardar gussa ho gaya aur bola : Ye chalega kaise?
Sala singer hi mara pada hai
—————————
what is the extreme limit of stupidity? Two Sardars sitting on a Rikshaw….,
and….,
fighting for a corner seat.
—————————
A Sardar looking at sky asks another Sardar :Is that a sun or moon? Other Sardar replies :Oye ! No idea…Im new to this city..
—————————
Ladkiyon ke college me strike thi,
Ladke bhi unke saath the
Ladkiyon ne naara lagaya:
“HUMARI MAANGE”
Pichhe se awaaz aayi:
“SINDUR SE BHARO”
—————————
Teacher : Santa and Banta!why you reached school late today?
Santa : Madam, I lost a one rupee coin and I was searching for it.
Teacher : Banta, what about you?
Banta : Madam. .., I was not able to move ….because I was hiding that coin under my feet.
—————————
Teacher : Santa! Make a sentence using “Neither-Nor”.
Santa : When girls wear tight fitting dresses, “NEiTHER” are they
comfortable, “NOR” are we!
—————————
Teacher : Santa ye batao tense kitne tarah ke hote hai?
Santa : Teen maidam.
Teacher : Teeno ke ek-ek example batao.
Santa : Madam, meine kal aapki beti ko dekha tha. Aaj mein ussey pyar karta hu aur kal mein ussey bhaga kar le jaunga.
—————————
Santa ek black aur ek white shocks pehenkar school aata hai.
Madam : Ghar jao aur moje badalkar aao.
Santa : Koi fayda nahi, waha bhi ek black aur ek white moja hi rakha hai.
—————————
Ek baar Santa ka Gadha lapata ho jata hai
Wo mandir me jakar bhagwan ki murti k samne der tak prarthana karta hai.
Yeh dekhkar Banta ussey puchta hai, “Santa kya tum bhagwan se ye prarthana kar rahe ho
ki tu—————————
mhara gadha tumhe mil jaye?.”
Santa : nahi yaar, mein to bhagwan ka sukriya ada kar raha tha ki unke
kripa se mein gadhe par sawar nahi tha, nahi to mein bhi lapata ho jata!
—————————
what is the cube of 13?
Its : SUROOR
wandaring how?
thats bcoz….
TERA * TERA * TERA = SUROOR
—————————
who was the 1st Indian woman fly abroad?
……….sita with ravan
—————————
wht did the kangaroo say when she found her baby missing?
Ans: Aaila!!!!! kisne mera pocket maar liya
—————————
wht do u call a really colourful tamilian???
Ans: Rangamannar rangrajan
—————————
An elephant falls in luv wid n ent.but Ant’s parents r against their marrige…guess y??
they gave a solid reason…**Ladke k dat bahar hai**
—————————
ones sardarji saw a very soni kudi in the market & thought..
Ans : kash k ye meri maa hondi to main v inna sona honda..
—————————
Full form of MATHS????
Ans : Mentally Affected Teacher Harassing Students…
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