Search Jokesome

Showing posts with label husbandandwifejokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label husbandandwifejokes. Show all posts

Divorce Court

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?”

She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.”

“No,” he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this case?”

“It is made of concrete, brick and mortar,” she responded.

“I mean,” he continued, “What are your relations like?”

“I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband’s parents.”

He said, “Do you have a real grudge?”

“No,” she replied, “We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one.”

“Please,” he tried again, “is there any infidelity in your marriage?”

“Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don’t necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes.”

“Ma’am, does your husband ever beat you up?”

“Yes,” she responded, “about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do.”

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, “Lady, why do you want a divorce?”

“Oh, I don’t want a divorce,” she replied. “I’ve never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can’t communicate with me!”

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Married Guys Go Fishing


Four married guys went fishing. After an hour or so, the following conversation took place:

First guy: “You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out
fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife I will paint every room
in the house next weekend.”


Second guy: “That’s nothing! I had to promise my wife I’d build her a new deck for the pool.”


Third guy: “Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I’ll remodel the kitchen for her.”


They continued to fish, until they realized the fourth guy had not said a word.


So they asked him. “You haven’t said anything about what you had to
do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What’s the deal?”


Fourth guy: “I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I
shut off the clock, gave the wife a nudge and said, “Fishing, or Sex,”
and she said, “Wear a sweater.”



Blogged with the Flock Browser

Popular Posts