Search Jokesome

Showing posts with label relationship jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship jokes. Show all posts

I'm not saying this

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long  been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you did take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you did not take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read:

"Dear Son, I'm not saying that you do sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you do not sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."

The Silent Treatment


A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.


Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.


Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,


'Please wake me at 5:00 AM .' He left it where he knew she would find it.


The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.


The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM . Wake up.'


Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.


Underwear Dust

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'


His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.


The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the Hell is this??' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.


'April,' he hollered into the bathroom, 'why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?'


She replied with a snicker…'It's not talcum powder……It's 'Miracle Grow

Popular Posts