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Showing posts with label husband and wife jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label husband and wife jokes. Show all posts

Birthday Wife


Rich was talking to his buddy at the bar, and he said, "I don't have a clue what to get my wife for her birthday - she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stumped."


His buddy said, "I have an idea - why don't you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it - she'll probably be thrilled."


So that's what Rich did.


The next day at the bar his buddy said, "Well? Did you take my suggestion?"


"Yes, I did," said Joe.


"Did she like it?" His buddy asked.


"Oh yes! she jumped up , thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door, yelling "I'll be back in an hour!!"


The Silent Treatment


A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.


Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.


Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,


'Please wake me at 5:00 AM .' He left it where he knew she would find it.


The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.


The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM . Wake up.'


Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.


Underwear Dust

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'


His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.


The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the Hell is this??' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.


'April,' he hollered into the bathroom, 'why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?'


She replied with a snicker…'It's not talcum powder……It's 'Miracle Grow

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